|
What I would like to be more than anything else is to
be disciplined. To have what it takes to get a job, no matter how big or
small, done efficiently and promptly. The reality is that I am not
disciplined whatsoever. I give off the illusion of being disciplined, but
clearly that isn’t the same as actually being disciplined. My illusion is
quite convincing though. There are scores of people in the world who are
absolutely certain that there are no dust bunnies in the corners of my world
and that deadlines—(interesting word that: deadline. Was it
originally intended to mean: If you don’t get to this point by such and
such a time, I’m going to kill you? Or just that once this time has past, I
don’t care how nice you are, there’s no going back. It—whatever it is—is
dead, so just bury it.)—don’t faze me in the least, that I see them coming
and have prepared adequately for their arrival a good 3 weeks ahead of
time. The fact that I give off this illusion gives me a sense of pride, but
as all true pretenders of discipline know, this pride really pales in
comparison to the Mecca of what it must actually be to be disciplined,
poised, and utterly competent.
|