Read the following internal monologues one at a time.  Judge each by the following:

o       Is the piece mostly an internal monologue?

o       Does the internal monologue make sense/read clearly?

o       Is the internal monologue realistic?

o       Does the internal monologue convey the decisions the student made about the woman?

o       Does the internal monologue TELL you explicitly about the character, or does the monologue SHOW you (through description and/or character’s voice) who the character is and what’s going on?

SAMPLE 1

Point of view? ????????

Who is she?  She is a student at some university.  Her name is Jane.

Portrayal?  Smart

Where?  France

Situation? Jane is very nervous because of all the people that is staring at her.

Jane is walking to her school…  Why is there so much men in this street?  Oh my god!  I’ve entered the weird side of town.  Boy are there freaks here.  I must be strong and—why is there 2 guys on a single bike!  I better start running before these weirdos start coming after me.  I know!  I’ll trick them all.  Hey guys, I’m really a man.

SAMPLE 2

Point of view? 3^rd person

Who is she?  The woman’s name is Hannah.  She is a new teacher assistant that works with individuals that are not socially accepted in society by the males in the picture.  (Women were not likely to work that job and many others that the men thought didn’t suit them.)

Portrayal?  She is very determined and independent.

Where?  She is in the center of a new town she had recently moved to where women aren’t accepted in some jobs.

Situation? Hannah took a wrong turn to a neighborhood where several men are making fun of her and the associates she works with; however, Hannah keeps walking and tries not to let them get to her, even though she isn’t accepted by the male population for taking on a “man’s role.”

The new woman, Hannah, is walking home from her job in a town she had recently moved to.  Oh, no.  Don’t tell me I took a wrong turn down the “only accepted individuals in the world” block.  I mean, don’t get me wrong; maybe I don’t know them well enough, but they should take in consideration that they are not the only ones on this planet.  It appears as if the men in the picture are mocking and making fun of her decision to persist on working as a principal at a school where she appears to not be accepted by these individuals.  Hannah continues to walk with her head high and at a sturdy pace.  Who knew that this job was going to be so sexist, society not accepting women for the job.  Come on, males only?  They told me I had all the experience I needed for the job.  I think I can do better job than any of these guys here anyway.  I just wish these men would quit their nonsense.

A few males continued to tease her.  You’d think that there were some males on earth with higher intelligence, but I guess not on this part of town.  Occasionally, one of the males would shout an inappropriate comment.  All these men are jerks, constantly being disrespectful and upsetting others.  I came to this town for a new beginning, and if dealing with this nonsense is a part of it, so be it.  I’m going to keep my head up high.  I am going to succeed. No individuals, not even these preposterous men, are going to stop me.

SAMPLE 3

Point of view? ???????????

Who is she?  Main character in a broadway play

Portrayal?  unhappy, embarrassed, scared

Where?  Downtown Manhattan

Situation? Her boyfriend just broke up with her.

What an idiot!  He’ll be running back to me and begging on his knees realizing he can’t get anyone, ANYONE better than me.  NO, Barbra, you don’t even have to think about that scum, you’re too good for him anyways.  What is HE?  Who dose he think HE is?  He’s nothing compared to you.  Just look around, look at all these men staring at you, you’re the center of attention on stage and off!  You can get ANY man on the face of the earth if you wanted.